THINGS THAT MAKE ME MAKE THIS FACE

• When I wear my "Fuck You You Fucking Fuck" shirt in public
• When I tell someone they need gum...politely, jeez.
• When people tell me I'm wrong for thinking it's okay for Kanye "The King" West to be an egotistical ass-hat. #KANYESHRUG
• When I lose a follower on Twitter/Instagram
• When I introduce myself, and you look me up and down
• When I can't walk in my heels
• When people tell say "OMG, YOU SAID THAT?"

MUSIC MONDAY

   

This is the best scene with the best song. EVER.

MOCCASINS ARE STUPID

SO STOP WEARING THEM, boys!

Moccasins are the worst "trend"guys can follow. Listen up you hip-scenester, for the sake of breaking my heart, and making me cry blood tears please rethink the next time you decide to put on the Eastern Indian tribe shoes. Leave them for the hunters and traders, they'll put them to good use, I promise. I know it's hard for you to not wear a pair of shoes that are so god damn comfortable but for us ladies, and more importantly for yourself, give them up. I mean, we stopped wearing tracksuits (right?). Next time you're thinking of leaving your house with what looks like flats with sheep in the interior that make your rail thin legs in your skinny jeans look even more stick-like, don't*.

Anyway, here are some alternatives:

If you're not into my suggestions, read this, I guess.

*There ARE exceptions to moccasins. Very few, but they exist. 

HAPPY CAMPER

Can we discuss the wonderful, deliciousness that is Strawberry Arnold Palmer? Lately, the only liquid slowly, and magically falling down my throat is SAP. For all of you who don't know, here, now you do.
 Not only do I want to smell like this amazingness but I want to swim in it. Can someone arrange this? If you haven't tried Strawberry Arnold Palmer, which has the just the right blend of half iced yea, half lemonade, and HALF friggin' strawberry (and totally doesn't taste like annoying artificial strawberry flavored lollipops, gross), I'll totally buy you your first can. I'm serious.

For god sakes, look at the beautiful design. A tiled print of strawberries ALWAYS makes me happy. Call me strange, actually, no, call me Strawberry.